Haunted Memories {openish}

[Kaera Fenrisulfr Vuldanshe]

Memories. The type that haunted a person into a grave if they were lucky enough to be mortal and drove the immortal insane. The type of thoughts that drove even a coolly collected woman like Kaera to find comfort in the night away from everyone who would pat her on the shoulder and offer her false words of sympathy that hid the pity they felt for her. Memories that made her inner wolf scramble for the freedom of the woods where she could run until her body collapsed. Anything that would allow her to numb the pain that still lived in her heart and jabbed her with every breath she took. A pain that not even her beloved brothers could understand or fix. So, like most nights when those same dreams became to much, the celtic princess retreated to her one refuge. The place where she could beat upon something without raising eyebrows and wear off some of the tension that always took up residence when her nightmares came to call.

Heavy sound of thuds against a solid target rang out through the gym as her slim figure danced around a frantically swinging punching bag. Right, left, right, kick, jab. Those were the only things she allowed herself to think about as she worked up a sweat and felt the burn in her muscles. The relief at being able to throw a punch at something without raising any eyebrows made her hit harder and faster before she'd retreat out of the way of the return swing. Physical activity always felt good to her and as the alpha female of her clan, she had to keep herself in top shape. At least, until Wulf took a mate.

Just that thought had her unease growing again.

Someday, she would have to step aside and she knew that would bring more changes that she could deal with at the moment. She half suspected that Wulf had put off taking a mate for her sake alone. Although he'd never been more than passingly interested in a female, it was long past time that he had a mate and babies. He was the alpha male of their line and it was his duty to beget and raise heirs. They all knew it but they also knew when he did, Kaera's place in the pack would go to his mate and she would be forced to take a back seat. Something that she'd never had to do and would probably be lost at.



Sighing, the young blond threw one last punch and then steadied the bag. Breathing heavily, she moved to the nearby pole and put her back to it. Taking off her boxing mits, she tossed them aside and then leaned her head back against the cool beam.



At times, Kaera felt as if her presence was holding her brothers back and that they were scared to move on for fear of her going to pieces. In some ways, they were probably correct... But Banning and their baby were dead. It was past time that she moved on and allowed her family to do the same.

That thought was her undoing.

Oh, sure... She'd grown adapt at hiding her sorrow from others. She'd had to. Wulf and Brom had both been about frantic to ease her pain in those first hundred or so years. She'd finally managed to fool them into thinking she was mending and she'd hidden her emotions ever since. Kaera highly doubted that either of them knew her nightly ritual of coming to the gym because the night shift was loyal to her to the extreme. Since both of the older wolves were usually busy with business at night, the female was left to her own devices and more often than not... Ended up here.


Closing her eyes against the wave of tears, she allowed her body to sink down along the pole and then buried her face in her knees. Hoarse, choking sobs racked her body as she released the fresh downpour of grief. God how she missed her mate. Having fallen in love with him as just a young girl, his death had been like a piece of her own self had died. Even after almost 1200 years, she could still remember the sound of his voice and the touch of his skin on hers. What she wouldn't give to have him there beside her again. Unfortunately, that was not possible and she needed to learn to let him go. Forever. It was the only thing that would save her sanity and allow her to truly live again.

But... Was it really worth the cost?

"DAMN YOU, BANNING!" she choked out, curling her hands into fists and hugging her knees even tighter.

[cal]

Things were at peace, be it at the Den or at the council, even if there was some unrest at the weres community for the most part everything was fine and dandy. Oh, how he hated it!

To not have something to fight, how long it had been since Caleb had a decent spot of violence to quell the call of the beast inside? It was driving him crazy, itching for a fight. It was his way of dealing with the beast inside. For a were it was different than it was from a shifter. Shifters were born with their ability, turned into wolves but they were always their selves. But a were, it was having a savage spirit force down their throat and turn into something else, it was to feel a feral savagery that claimed for blood.

And for a former member of the Dogs of War? It was far worse if you count the nightmares. Each night he was remembered of the life he led before, of the things he had done. Back then he wasn’t much more than a savage beast and humans were a mere plaything. He didn’t knew better and had for the most part forgot he had been even human himself. There was a lot of blood in his hands, of those he had killed without any sign of mercy and reveled on it. No matter how deep down he pushed those memories, every night he remembered.

It took a panicked look of a young and innocent soul to spark that flicker of humanity that was left on him, to make him want to protect instead of kill. And so he had turned into his former allies and them decent on him like the pack of wild animals they were. Dozens of claws and sharp teeth trying to tear him apart, but he had saved a life. He could hear the panicked boy running just out of their reach and so his death would mean a damned thing, he was ready.

But he didn’t die, it took three freaking months until he recovered but he didn’t die. Caleb was found by a shifter, one that took him in, gave him a job and a purpose, helped him remember who he was. Damned Derek, sometimes he believed he would be better off dead.

The fighting was a way to push all those memories down, to satisfy the beast so it didn’t crave for innocents blood. He needed his fix of violence to keep it in check.

And when it wasn’t possible, there was the Oasis. The academy of the Fenrisulfr clan, they held two chairs amongst the council and he had worked as their enforcer. Right now, their gym was a way to burn down all that pent up energy until he was ready to collapse.

Wandering through the place Caleb thought to be deserted, his sensitive ears caught the sound of a feminine voice and peeked into the next room. It was Kaera, and she looked like she was struggling with ghosts of her own. Caleb hadn’t much contact with her to know if she was one of those who didn’t like the presence of weres, still why the hell should he care? It was not his problem, right? Just keep moving and ignore it. Growling softly in exasperation, he shook his head and moved into the room and to her side, kneeling next to her.

“Hey, you’re alright?”

Greeeat, how uncomfortable was that? The grunt trying to comfort someone when all he knew how to do right was to fight.


_{(Just noticed this thread was marked as 'openish' instead of open. I was just taking Caleb for a spin, but if you want to, feel free to remove my post, I don't want to spoil anything you might have planned)}

[Kaera Fenrisulfr Vuldanshe]

It was rare that anyone got the drop on any of the Fenrisulfr siblings. Kaera had learned first hand just what it could cost you if you weren't the most alert predator on the prowl and there was no excuse for the start she took when a voice broke out of the silence. Lifting her tear streaked face from her knees, she blinked blearily and then quickly wiped the traces of sadness from her cheeks.

"I'm sorry... I didn't know anyone else was here...I'm fine... really... Just some old memories." she said, as if trying to explain why she was sitting on the floor moping like some kind of sentimental fool. "I usually have the gym to myself this early in the morning."

Pushing herself to her feet, she glanced at the man only to realize that she knew him. Why it was really a surprise, she didn't know but it was the first time she'd seen Mr. Caleb Draven outside of council business. She knew the sight of him and the various information that Wulf had told her about the were but because they ran in two very different circles, they themselves were no more than passing acquaintances.

"Mr. Draven..... "she greeted with a bit of curiosity to her tone. "I'm sorry.. I didn't recognize your voice... Is there something I can do for you or were you just wanting the gym? I was just going to shower... Your welcome to it if you like....."

Gah, didn't it just figure that the one time they ran into each other she'd be crying like a baby. Her mourning wasn't something she shared with just anyone.. In fact, only her brothers and Ty knew she still grieved for her lost mate. On a normal basis, she kept it separate from the motions of every day life. The busier she kept herself, the easier it was to ward off the nightmares when she collapsed into her bed in exhaustion. Unfortunately, it was becoming harder and harder to hide the gigantic cracks in the wall she'd built around herself.

[cal]

She probably believed he was good only to bust a few heads, but then again Caleb could think her to be some stuck-up little princess who was crying because she broke a nail. How the hell he was supposed to know? The most contact he had with the Fenrisulfr clan was with Wulfgar and the guy was alright for an ancient, a man of honor and strength and he respected it. He didn’t knew much of the others besides they were rich beyond his wildest dreams and hanged with the arrogant society that he’d rather eat his own arm than stand.

So one could probably understand his surprise when she was polite to him. Usually he wasn’t addressed as Mr. Draven but wolf-boy, they usually changed their tune when he sharpened his claws on their guts, but to be treated like that by one of the big bosses? Maybe she had more in common with her brother than he expected and the least he could do was repay it.

“It is alright Miss Fenrisulfr, I was just going to workout a little,” he looked at her and frowned slightly uncomfortable, “Listen…uh…you don’t look too good, but…you want to talk about it? Keeping things bottled up isn’t the smartest idea, you know? If you want to get a cup of coffee and chat…”

Great, he hoped it didn’t sound like a flirting line.

He knew about bottling feelings up, the kind of guilty and rage that had him waking up in the middle of the night covered in sweat after trashing his room during a particular bad dream. From that day on, he only kept a mattress on the floor on his bedroom.

[Kaera Fenrisulfr Vuldanshe]

Kaera couldn't help but be surprised over how polite this man seemed to be. Most Were's were of a vicious bent but Draven seemed to be in better control of his inner beast. From past experience, she knew were's tended to be slurry and edgy. Almost as if they world owed them something for being changed into something they hadn't chosen.


Since were's weren't real selective on their prey, a lot of the humans that were turned weren't cut out for the life of a beast. Over half of them never made it past their first six months before they were hunted down and exterminated because of their brutal tendencies. The Council simply couldn't risk the exposure of the species because it would draw to much notice to the rest.

While Kaera could feel some empathy for the creatures, she'd also seen the damage they could leave behind and it had made her leery of them in general. However, between what Wulf had said of this man and her own instincts, she surprised herself by glancing at the clock and then agreeing to his proposition.

"Actually, that might be nice.... I don't really want to go home yet anyways so the distraction would be wonderful." she replied. "Let me grab a quick shower and then I'll meet you out here?"

Turning on her heels, she headed for the locker room after catching his nod. Taking a quick shower, she pulled her wet hair up into a messy ponytail and then pulled on a pair of athletic pants and a turquoise hoodie over a white tank top. Walking back out into the gym, she found him waiting and smiled a bit warily.

"You know.. I'm actually a bit hungry... How about we grab a bit to eat instead? I hear there is a new mexican restaraunt just off the Quarter..."

[cal]

From day one Caleb had laid his eyes upon Kaera on the council, her appearance and status made him think she would be a spoiled princess. Off course then she could have the same prejudice and think him to be a savage beast not worth of being in the same room as her. But Caleb Draven was never a man for prejudice, in fact he had the habit of ripping off the head of who was so.

That didn’t make it feel less weird however, he wasn’t the touch and feely kind of man. He was the rip then to shreds kind of man, but he wouldn’t turn his back to an innocent in pain, and in his eyes Kaera was just that, not to mention she was Wulf’s sister, someone he respected.

Nodding at her when she returned, Caleb followed her out of the gym. His eyes drifted momentarily to check her hear as she led the way, but he forced himself to look away. He wasn’t going to hit on a woman that was just crying, he wasn’t that kind of man either.

“I have my bike just around the corner if you want a ride. If not I can just follow your car.”

He couldn’t help but wonder what kind of demons had a woman that at least on the surface lead a fairytale life. Of course, the council made him feel it would be better eat his own arm than to deal with the backstabbing politics.

[Kaera Fenrisulfr Vuldanshe]

Smiling at his words, Kaera stepped out in the cool night and felt the soft breeze caress her face. Again, she had to stop herself from letting the memories intrude and she hastily shoved them into the back of her mind where they couldn't be seen. A feeling of recklessness stole over her and like an animal cornered, she turned to her companion with glimmering eyes.


"You drive fast? Can you race the wind on your bike? Because I feel the need to do something crazy...."

Tilting her head in a bit of a challenge, she eyed him questioningly and then strode to where a sky blue Audi sat. Tossing her bag in the back, she closed the door and leaned on the side.

"Whats it going to be Draven? Your bike or a run through the forest? That is.... if you've got the guts enough to keep up."

There was a teasing edge to her tone but also one of complete intent. IT wasn't a bluff and she was itching to do something insane even if he wasn't.

[cal]

His brow rose at her question. It was a pleasant surprise, at the council chambers Kaera always seemed so uptight, so in control…a smile spread across his lips as he watched her. It made her feel more approachable and made him feel less awkward and out of place in her presence. He could see a little of himself in her, that fiery way of handling with her inner devils. Sure his own way was bloodier, but still.

“I ride fast, you can believe that. But there is nothing like a run in the wilds to get the blood rushing through your veins.”

Smirking, Caleb kicked off his boots and removed his shirt and walked to his bike stashing them there. His transformation wasn’t exactly like hers and he didn’t felt like losing more clothes if he could avoid it, besides the were was quite comfortable on his own skin and felt no need to feel ashamed of his body, for him it was even more natural than being clothed.

When he returned to her, he was bare skinned. With a smirk he felt his muscles twist and stretch, the form of a man changing into an imposing hybrid of man and wolf that stood almost twice his human size in his two paws. With silver fur, yellow eyes and wicked canines on his mouth, a fearsome creature, but there was a smile in his features and a teasing look on his eyes as he darted for the woods.

Let’s see if the wolf could keep up with him.

[Kaera Fenrisulfr Vuldanshe]

All right, so maybe she should know better than to throw a challenge into a males face as blatantly as she had just done. Quiet frankly, though, she just didn't care about the niceties and the fact he shifted in the nude didn't bother her at all. After all, he was a good looking dude and she was only female. She'd have to be blind not to at least notice that he came in a fine package.

If you added that to the fact that she'd grown up in a time when men went into battle with either next to nothing on or naked... Well, modesty wasn't a big concern to her. After all, she had two brothers, three if you counted Ty, and had been married to a warrior of the first order. The male anatomy wasn't something that disturbed her.

As he darted towards the woods, Kaere smirked and stretched into a run. Leeping for the tree line, she shifted in mid air and when she landed she was in full wolf mode. Long, easy strides brought the slender blonde wolf along side of the huge half beast and she nipped at his side as she raced by. Knowing the woods like the back of her hand, she darted in and out of the shadows as they raced the moonlight and out ran the dreams that haunted them both.

Reaching a small stream, the female skidded to a stop and then looked around. Leaping carefully up on a huge boulder, she lifted her muzzle to the sky and let out a mournful cry. With her eeiry blue eyes glowing in the dark, she looked at her companion and then was off once more. IT was a game of catch me if you can and her inner animal loved it.

[cal]

Caleb could feel the blood pumping through his veins and his heart racing with the adrenalin of the race. The little blonde wolf matched his speed and nipped at his side, causing a laugh to sound into his mind, it was rare for him to be able to think of anyone as little compared to him, but in this form he was taller than her.

But it wasn’t that trivial thing that made him feel alive, it was being able to be himself, away from the scared eye of the humans and in the company of someone who didn’t looked down on him with neither disgust or fear.

Sure there was the innate savagery underlining his every though, but Derek had taught him well, how to keep it in check. He still released it when he needed that extra strength, but he was more than that and to himself more than anyone else, he wanted to prove that he wasn’t a mindless bloodthirsty beast, that he was a man and capable of good.

Stopping as she did, the werewolf raised his head to gaze at the moon and released an instinctive howl. Caleb was a man, but he didn’t deny his animal side, it was forever intertwined with his soul.

When his eyes turned back to Kaera, he saw her already taking off in a run while he had been distracted.

Cheater!

Picking up the speed, Caleb turned into his four paws into a sprint and jumped into the trees, propelled by strong muscles he used his claws to grab on to the trees and jump from tree to tree until he was ahead and jumped down just in front of Kaera with a teasing glint in his yellow werewolf eyes.