To catch a falling star {Mercy}

[Lt. Lucien Calugarul]

Other minor segeways can be found in A Team Threads:
When it all comes undone

Houston we have a problem




It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now.

Another shot of whiskey, can't stopping looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.

[/i]



Jab, jab, punch; land a roundhouse and jump back with arms up in a defensive pose. The fighting set came easily to Lucien, as his mind fell into a much needed calm. The rhythmic smack of his knuckles on the heavy punching bag lulled him into a sense of relaxation, and the low grunts of others working out in the large gym forced him to push away that nagging sense of anxiety. Why did he feel like something was about to happen? That something was horribly wrong?

Whatever the reason, he just knew that it was tied to the beautiful werewolf over in the community area. After her ‘introduction’ to the Shadow Team, she had offered to join and he had found himself torn between delight and complete terror. On the one hand, her joining was a point in favor of her not minding his current profession. And, also adding to the sense of relief and excitement in his belly, the knowledge that she would be so close all the time had something strange flutter in his belly.

But, at the same time, there was the threat of missions. Surely Hawk would find Mercy’s shifter heritage useful and he would desire her to learn their warlike ways. Raven had already offered to teach her ‘some moves,’ and Julian had expressed a desire for another field medic for the Team. The mere THOUGHT of his woman in a combat situation had his blood running cold, and his chest tightening in an awful ache. What if she was hurt? What if she were captured, or thought him disgusting after she actually saw what his life was about?

More importantly, what if he were too weak to help her when she really needed it? He was just a human, after all. Even now, weeks after their encounter with the vampire in the alleyway, his ribs still felt sore with any exertion. What if he couldn’t protect her?

His blows on the punching bag became harder and more erratic, as that flimsy sense of peace fled. God, he had to get a hold of himself, before he really did make a mistake. He wasn’t used to this rush of emotion; this feeling of unease and fear! Such emotions had been buried, along with the warmth that he felt every time he locked eyes with the alluring doctor. All feeling had died with his Miruna…yet, there he was, terrified that he would lose her, as he’d lost his family.

With a growl, he punched the bag once more, then stepped to the side, resting one arm on the wall. All he had on was a pair of sweats and sneakers, and as he tried to convince himself to regulate his breathing, the burn scars on his back and arms shined in the gym light. Gah, how he wanted to beg her to reconsider, and go back to her safe hospital world.

But he knew he could never do that. Somehow, that damn woman had gotten under his skin, and to be apart from her…Du, it actually HURT to think of such things!



[/center]

[Mercedes Rowe]

Mercedes had just left the community area after a grueling case with Julian. The man had a personality disorder. She was fairly certain of that, but she had, also, been forewarned about it. She hadn’t had the privilege of seeing it yet, but she was certain that she wouldn’t like it. Even the thought of it made her a little wary.

Right now, she was heading towards the gym where Lucien had told her he would be for part of the afternoon. She hadn’t heard from him again, so she suspected he was still there.

Her hands were shoved into the pockets of her lab coat. One was playing idly with a pen. There was a rhythmic clicking sound coming from her pocket as she rounded the corner to the gym. She shouldered the door and stepped inside. Her hazel eyes instantly found her man. Her man. She loved the sound of that.

Lucien was punching the bag furiously. She watched him for a good few moments before she decided to approach, which happened to be about the time he decided for a breather and leaned an arm against the wall. God, he was so hot in just his sweatpants. Her eyes fell upon his tight muscled back. She had to force her eyes away before she did something crazy – like bite him. That could wait for some other time. For now, he looked like he could use someone to speak with. There was such an intense look on his face. She quietly wondered what it was about. Maybe it was about her? Had she done something to upset him?

“Lucien?” Her hand dropped onto his outside arm. Her fingers slid down it before dropped away at the elbow. It was the briefest of touches, but it was enough to give her some small amount of strength, and she really needed it. She felt like she was about to drop where she was standing. A nap sounded reasonable right about now. She would worry about that after finding out what seemed to be plaguing Lucien.

“Is everything alright?” She asked with a tilt of her head. Her long hair fell to one side, draping her shoulder in a curtain of dark brown hair. Whatever was bothering him had her worried. She was very protective of him. She idly wondered to herself if that bothered him.

Her hand dropped back into the pocket of her jacket and she went to work on that pen again. The rhythmic click, click, click sound filled the silence between them.

[Lt. Lucien Calugarul]

With a frustrated growl, Lucien knocked his forehead against his arm for a few seconds, trying to clear his mind. All of these emotions, these fears and uncertainties; they had no place in the calm, cool mind of a professional interrogator such as himself. Slowly, he took a deep breath in, held it, and let it back out. This was just lack of sleep and stress pressing down onto his mind; that was all. He was irritated over the fact that his current ‘guest’ wasn’t giving him the right answers, he was annoyed at Hawk for not letting him go after the few vampires left from the coven that he’d helped destroy, and he was confused by that constant desire to be near his doctor.

Hell, he’d even wanted to kill Julian for stealing her away, and that made no sense. If any one of their team was more buried in his work and adverse to relationships of any kind, it was the Team medic. But, there it was. After years of walking around, feeling nothing, he was about to explode with possessiveness at any second.

…And, look at that; the focal point of said emotion was standing right behind him. Was that luck, or Fate pointing at him and laughing?

Turning at the sound of his name, Lucien couldn’t help but smile that slid onto his face when he saw her. In two strides, he had his arms wrapped around her and was pulling her into him, a low noise escaping him as he felt himself instantly relaxing. There were no problems when she was safe in his arms, he thought absently. A few strange sounds had him glancing around, and with a little grumble of irritation when he realized that they were getting a few curious stares, he slid an arm around her waist and guided her out into the hall.

He realized that he must be disgusting her with his sweaty self, and took a step away. ”Ah, I apologize,” He said, motioning down at himself. Taking a step back into the gym, he stole a towel and wiped off, going back to her. ”I am glad to see you, Mercedes. How was your day with Julian? You helped some of the soldiers, yes?”

With a tilt of his head, he motioned for her to proceed him down the hall, toward his quarters. He had no idea why, but he wanted to be alone with her. Having a conversation in the hall, where anyone could hear, was uncomfortable. He’d chalk it all up to his profession and dwell on it later.

[Mercedes Rowe]

Mercedes hate to see Lucien under so much stress. She wanted to wipe all his worries away. If she could do that she would. Sure, there was medication to help people relax and forget about most of their problems, but she would never want that for him. He would become emotionless. She liked his shy, yet possessive attitude. There wasn't anything he could do wrong, in her eyes.

And what was it with that smile? Whenever she appeared it seemed to take over his face. It made her feel special, like he kept that smile reserved for her. Wow...it was something else. It was enough to make her weak in the knees. It was a good thing he came forward and wrapped his arms around her. She was sure she might have fallen over.

She always thought it was so cliché when her friends spoke of a man that made them go weak to their knees then talk about how they just knew he was the one. They were so right. She was experiencing it right now.

As they embraced tightly, her hands pressed into his back as he leaned down and her nose slid along his neck. He smelled so good and felt so right. He was so tall and massive compared to her. Even if being a shifter made her stronger she felt far safer in his arms than anywhere else.

That low noise that came from his throat made her heart beat fiercely. She adored the noises he made, and she was about to kiss him hard for it, except he slid an arm around her waist and started for the hallway. Her hazel eyes shifted, glancing at the people gawking. Couldn't anyone have a little free time around here? If she wasn't exhausted she might give them all a piece of her mind for staring, but she just didn't care right now.

The sweat didn't bother her. She was about to protest when he apologized, but he didn't give her time to reply as he stepped away to grab a towel. When he returned, she lifted a shoulder at his question. "It was grueling, and I am exhausted. I think my mind and body is on autopilot. I'm not even sure how I made it to the gym without falling over into a sleep deprived stupor." She tilt her head, watching him curiously. "How are you? Something is bothering you, I can tell. What is it?"

He gestured down the hall to his quarters, which was fine with her. She wondered what he might think of her if she used his bed to pass out. Then again, if he wanted to climb in bed with her she wouldn’t be opposed to that, at all.

[Lt. Lucien Calugarul]

Ah damn, in his haste to take her away from those prying eyes in the gym, he’d forgotten his shirt. ‘Uncomfortable’ couldn’t begin to describe how he felt, leading her bare-chested down the damn hallway toward his room. He hated when people stared, preferring to be the Silent Bob in the background, with the scalpel and the ‘lemme introduce you to Hell’ smile…all of which was impossible, given the fact that he had more burns than actual flesh. And, given the fact that Mercy hadn’t seen him naked just yet…oh gah, definitely the wrong mental path to start in on!

He was instantly adjusting his pants, a faint blush appearing around his ears, as the image of Mercy wearing nothing but a sexy grin flashed through his brain. Du, what was his name again? Where were they going? Well, either way, the sight of his ugly ass self would probably send her running away in the opposite direction.

Though, she WAS still leaning into him with that gentle smile of hers. Okay, good; he’d obviously distracted her by sweat and questions about how the day went, that she hadn’t noticed. This, he could work with.

…No, Ma, he didn’t have ANY problems with self esteem. God, it was definitely becoming time to take Rae up on her offer to beat the crap out of him; he was sounding more like a girl every minute.

Letting the towel hang around his neck, Lucien cast a glance in her direction as he led her toward his quarters. ”But you enjoy what you are doing here?” He had to ask her, a frown pulling at his once smiling lips. ”Julian is treating you well? He can be…eh…hard to get along with, sometimes, but he is harmless enough. It is his other half that you should be careful around.”

And if Billy ever touched a hand on his doctor’s head, he would lose it; asset to the Team, or no. The child-like Hyde had been quite strong of late, going so far as to pop out of his ‘Daddy’s’ head without warning. Hopefully, Mercy wouldn’t be around with the psychopath took hold.
There was no wonder why the ex-surgeon kept trying to kill himself. He hoped that Mercy wouldn’t be around when he tried his hand at it again, as well.

”If Julian is working you too hard, I will talk to him,” He said firmly, biting back a sigh of relief when they finally reached his rooms. Using the card key to swipe open the door, he motioned for her to proceed him.

And then stiffened slightly when she asked about his own state of mind. Damn, was he so transparent around her? Not that hitting a punching bag until the sand fell out wasn’t a pretty good indicator of a crappy day. Rubbing at the back of his neck, he offered a wan smile before going to retrieve a fresh shirt.

”Is nothing. I just have…a lot on my mind.”

[Mercedes Rowe]

Lucien might have been uncomfortable leading her bare-chested down the hall, but Mercy was not complaining one bit. From her perspective he looked so damn yummy. She didn’t know he had so many tattoos either. She needed to get this man unclothed and see what else she was missing out on. “Nice tattoos,” she complimented on them as they strolled along. The nosy doctor that she was had her questioning the scars along his ribs and stomach. “How did you get those scars?” She asked, shooting for some small talk while her mind was undressing the rest of his body.

She caught the faintest change in the color of his ears. She had learned it happened when he blushed. Oh god, he was so damn cute. She wanted to eat him up. It took all she had not to stop this little trip down the hall and kiss the hell out of him.

Peeling her eyes away, she followed by Lucien’s side. “I do enjoy it. I’ve always loved what I do, but I was exhausted a lot at the hospital as well. It’s part of the job, having all these duties and responsibilities.” She scrunched her brow and cast him a quick glance. “Julian has been treating me well. I have not had any problems with him, yet.” She nodded slowly. “I have not met that other half, but that’s what I’ve been told. I guess I won’t know what to expect, until I get to meet this other half.”

Her hands made their way back into the pockets of her lab coat, staring down the hall as they strolled along. “Oh, no, he’s not working me too hard. I opt to work this hard. I don’t do anything half ass when it comes to helping people with their bodies. I’ve always taken the job very seriously, and sometimes I put too much time and effort in. Before I know it I’ve been standing on my feet for twelve hours straight without a break.”

Stepping up next to him, she leaned against the wall for a moment as he swiped his key card to open the door. She followed his gesture and stepped into his quarters before he did. She stopped a few feet in and dropped her shoulders then turned to give him a despairing look. “Lucien, I’ve been around you enough these past few months that I can tell when something is bothering you. Are you scared to speak with me about it?” She asked, hoping it wasn’t that because she liked to think as much as he had already told her that he knew she never judged him.

She shrugged out of her lab coat, leaving her in only blue scrubs. Her palm came out to his chest, stopping him as he went to grab a shirt to put on. “Not yet,” she told him, unsure how to explain to him that sometimes she just needed the comfort of flesh for the wolf. This was one of those moments, probably because she was so exhausted. It was not really a good thing to get exhausted like this when carrying the lycanthropy gene. It could cause her to lose control of the beast.

“I’m not sure how to explain some things,” she said quietly. She stepped in towards him and embraced him tightly, her head landed against his chest with a soft sigh. “Sometimes the wolf needs some fleshy touch to keep it sated,” she went on to try and explain this part to him, hoping that by talking she might get him to open up about things too. “Typically it’s better to have the comfort of another wolf, but my wolf really likes you. Strangely, it was attracted to you the first time we met,” she told him honestly.

As she leaned her head against his chest, her arms tightened as her eyes slipped closed. She let out a yawn. The rhythmic sound of his heart reminded her of the soft beat of a drum, which soothed her and made her eyes droop heavily. “I would never tell anyone anything about you, Lucien,” she said with a sleepy voice. He already knew that, and why she was saying that was beyond her. When she started to get exhausted like this she said things that were completely obvious. Thank you, Captain Obvious, she grumbled quietly to herself.

[Lt. Lucien Calugarul]

Well, if there was one thing that Lucien hadn’t been prepared for, it was how close she got to him, and the questions she’d dared to ask. It wasn’t as if he didn’t trust her enough with answers, or that he was afraid of judgment…but rather, he was afraid of her reaction.

Not that he could actually think straight when she was so close, her arms wrapped around him. God, if she didn’t move away soon, she was going to get an up close and personal view about how he liked their current positioning. Dammit, think of cold showers and…and…Raven. THAT would kill any and all sexual interest, wouldn’t it? Gah, it wasn’t like he didn’t want to sleep with the doctor, but taking things too fast would be disaster.

And now he was thinking like a girl. Great. He should just start talking now, and stop himself from sinking farther into that impending insanity.

”Is good you haven’t met his other half yet,” He said, choosing to focus on that part of the conversation first. ”Julian is easy enough to work with, but the other? He is quite…insane and very dangerous. I would prefer if you did not meet him. Ever.”

Du, there went that protectiveness again, he thought with a sigh as his shoulders bunched. His arms wrapped possessively around her, and he held her close to him, resting his chin on the top of her head. She seemed so fragile, and he knew that such assumptions were wrong, given the way she’d attacked that vampire in the alley…but God, he couldn’t help but to fear for her. Billy would see her as yet another piece of ass, he thought, another low rumble tumbling from his chest.

The way that she felt in his arms, so close to his heart…it was unlike anything he’d ever felt before, even with Miruna. His thoughts drifted back to her question about his scars and he hesitated, falling silent. He wanted to tell her; he wanted her to know him, as he wanted to know her…but the fear, the uneasiness and the shame was still there.

Still, the answers came.

”My scars…they are from torture,” He said suddenly, eyes locked on the wall behind her. There was no stopping the flow of words now, and if anything, he held onto his doctor a bit tighter. ”Back in Romania. Before I joined the army, I was a farmer. I lived in the mountains with my father, mother and my sister. There was war in Romania, but it never reached out village. When it did…we were a peaceful community and would have helped the soldiers, but instead of talking, they attacked us.”

He paused, pulling away from her slightly so he could sit down on the edge of the bed. He felt tired, and he wanted to pace…the conflicting desires were enough to match his conflicting emotions. ”We fought back, but it did not take long until Dargul fell. I led attacks against the soldiers, so when the village was captured, I was taken. They wanted to make an example out of me…and my family.” Idly, his gaze averted and seemingly miles away, he traced one of the tattoos on his inner arm; a winding, thorny vine adorned with three roses. ”I had a wife, Miruna, a daughter, Stella. Miruna was pregnant…but it did not matter. They made me watch, as they burned her to death…her and Stella. Then they moved onto me.”

Abruptly, he ran a hand through his hair and looked up at her, a miriad of emotions on his face. "I am afraid that I will lose you as I lost them," He said, voice harsh, rough. "That is why I have been so...distracted, of late. I feel...close to you, Mercedes, in a way that I have not been close to anyone in a long time. I am afraid that you will die, as they died..."

[Mercedes Rowe]

The low rumble in Lucien’s chest as he spoke felt wonderful. Was there anything she didn’t love about him? She didn’t think there was. He was beyond perfect. Mercy believed there was not anything he could ever do to upset her or make her think differently of him.

“How dangerous could he be? He’s only human, isn’t he? A human with schizophrenia?” She really didn’t see the problem. Surely, a shifter could handle a simple human that is insane, but little did she know just how dangerous Julian’s other half was. That would be something she’d learn when she finally met Billy. “Well, it’ll happen, eventually, I’m sure. I’ve been working a lot with him, so it’s inevitable. It all boils down to the when and where.”

The silent that followed after her question worried her. What exactly was plaguing him? Was it something with her? Had she done something? She was starting to worry and a bad vibe started to weigh upon her chest. God, she felt like something was going to happen, something bad. Maybe Lucien was going to tell her to leave him alone.

He started to explain, starting from the beginning. As the words tumbled free from his mouth she felt sick to her stomach. Oh god, he had to watch as they killed his wife and daughter? There was anger and hurt on her face for the people that would ever do such a horrible thing to a loving and caring man. A wife and child? It hit her in the silence that followed after he let everything go. “Lucien,” she said with a startled gasp, “you should have told me sooner.”

She followed him over to the bed as he sat. Her hands came down to his shoulders and she slid into his lap, offering him the comfort of her arms, her touch, her love. She did not like to see him hurt and would do anything to erase that look from his eyes.

As he explained his worry about her, she frowned. “Oh, Lucien, I am right here,” she pressed feather kisses across his forehead as her hands cupped his cheeks. “I’m not going anywhere, especially not now. And God forbid something horrible was to happen…my heart would be with you.” She grasped his hand and pressed it against her chest. Her other hand came up under his chin to bring his eyes onto hers. “Do you hear me? I love you.” After the words came out, she dropped her hand away from his chin. God, what a stupid thing to pronounce after he had just spilled out something so horrible. She should have offered her condolences or something.

“So,” she tried to change the subject, maybe he wouldn’t notice her proclamation. “Is that why you were visiting the cemetery?” She asked. She didn’t think they were buried here. They hadn’t died here, so maybe just being in a graveyard made him feel closer to the women he loved.

[Lt. Lucien Calugarul]

Lucien winced when he heard her gasp, looking down at his hands. His fists were clenched, he realized with a start…so much so, in fact, that he could feel the warm wetness of blood on his palms. With a little shake of his head, he wiped his hands on his pants.

“You are the only person in this country who knows about them,” He said, voice soft. He couldn’t bring himself to look at her, not after what he’d just said. Du, did he sound as clingy as he felt? He really did hope not…but he probably did. Gah, this was why he didn’t do the ‘sharing his feelings’ thing! It was too complicated; there were too many things to think and worry about.

Swallowing, he went on. “Is not a story that I share with many people…and I was…I do not know. Afraid to tell you, I guess.”

He just couldn’t freaking stop with the talking, could he? He was almost relieved enough to sag back onto the bed when she sat on his lap; the act managed to surprise him enough to make him lose his voice. Instinctively, his arms went around her, and he tilted his head slightly so his face was inches away from hers.

What was it about her scent that made him so relaxed? The horrors of his past ate at him, but when she was near…God, it was as if she were some kind of walking redemption. In her arms, he felt as if he could start a new life; begin again and actually make something of his existence that was worthwhile. Crazy, he knew, but still…there it was.

With an audible sigh, he leaned into her, nuzzling her cheek as she kissed his brows. She was just so loving, so giving, that he had to wonder what he’d ever done to deserve such a woman. There was that little whispering voice that questioned whether or not he truly deserved her, but he was selfish enough to turn it away. Whether she liked it or not, he was fit to be hogtied.

When had that happened, he absently wondered, features softening at her words. He’d asked himself that question over and over, over the span of the few months they’d been together, but he still couldn’t come to a suitable conclusion—

All intelligent thought stopped when those three little words fell from the doctor’s lips. Lucien went still beneath her, hands freezing in mid-caress of her arms and neck. He caught her hand before she could pull it away, an almost eerily intense look in his face while he gazed into her eyes. “What did you say?” He ignored her question, his free hand going to capture her chin gently between his fingers.

For a minute, he watched her, looking into her eyes as if the answer to all of life’s questions could be found there. Finally, he answered.
“My wife and children’s remains are buried in the Carpathian Mountains, in the burnt husk of our home. I was in the cemetery looking for solitude…and for you. Do you love me, Mercedes Rowe? As much as I love you?”

[Mercedes Rowe]

Mercedes couldn't hide the shock or the pain she felt for Lucien. He had lost a family, and he had not spoken of it to anyone. How horrible and hard that must have been? She couldn't even imagine such a thing. It made her feel for him and want to be his savior, but she couldn't do that, unless he wanted it. "This is horrible," she said beneath her breath.

"Afraid to tell me? Oh, Lucien.. Did you think I would judge you for something such as that? It was a horrible incident that was not your fault, in any way."

She wished she could go back into time and fix it. She knew how much this type of thing affected a person. Pressing her free hand over his heart and feeling the beat beneath her palm, the sound of his blood pumping in her ears, she felt so much closer to him. The muscles of his arms flexed as they went around her. Her hazel eyes focused on his light blue ones. That need to kiss him stupid was there again. If anything to make him forget everything for a moment.

Her lips whispered softly over his brow as he nuzzled against her cheek. He smelled so good, making her realize that it was everything she loved because it was of him.

She watched as his features softened then went completely still beneath her grasp. All hope that he hadn't heard her declaration was lost. She knew now that he had heard those three words spoken. Her hand was pulling away, trying to do something else that might change the subject, except he was asking for a repeat of what she'd just spoken.

His other hand captured her chin and she locked her gaze with his. Her heart started to beat wildly against her chest. The words had flown out of her mouth so easily only moments before. Now she was frightened to say it because she was frightened that she would scare him off. She licked her suddenly dry lips and spoke softly, "I said I love you."

Her eyes softened as he spoke of where his wife and children's remains were buried. She brought her hand back to his cheek and tilt her head. She was about to speak about how she would never expect the same amount of love he had given his deceased wife and child when he said he was looking for her. "You were looking for me?" Her eyes watered and she wasn't sure she could answer his question without looking like an emotional woman. He loved her, too? She leaned in and closed the deal with a passionate kiss, whispering a devotion of love against his lips.

[Lt. Lucien Calugarul]

She was a balm to his wounds, the soldier thought as he basked in the feel of her close to him. Her soft words, her gentle touch; he didn’t feel as alone or as pained when he was with her. Before, he’d been angry that the world had kept on turning without the beloved faces of his wife and his daughter. He’d cursed God for taking them from him; for leaving him to wander the earth, alive and whole, while they had suffered so unnecessarily. He had been the one to lead attacks against the soldiers; HE had been the one who’d deserved to die!

For years, he’d waited for God to finish what He had started, and end his life as well. He’d taken every dangerous mission that his previous employers had thrown at him, and had even joined a team of supernaturals who prided themselves on the same. He’d been waiting to die; waiting to join the family that he had so loved, and lost.

But now, being held in the arms of the werewolf he loved? The urge to die was the farthest thing from his mind. Now…now, he wanted to live.

And live, he would…if it meant remaining in her arms.

A shudder tore through him as she told him that she loved him, a balmy warmth spreading throughout his chest. He brought his face closer to hers, brushing his lips gently across hers, as a soft smile tilted them upward.
“I have been looking for you…for your love,” He repeated, resting his forehead against hers. “Ever since I accepted that my family is at rest, I have been looking for you. My Mercedes…my love…”

His rough voice murmured love words in Romanian as he trailed his lips over the soft curve of her jaw and down to her neck. He trailed his hands over her arms and waist, while he shifted a bit uncomfortably beneath her. God, how he wanted to show her how much he loved her…in the only way that he knew how. He’d made it a point to take things slow; to keep his distance and keep their relationship as polite as he could.

But with those beautiful words still ringing in his ears, he wanted more. Finally, he pulled back to look into her eyes once again, his fingers teasing the skin under the hem of her shirt. A tremor of nervousness tore through him as that hated blush crept up his ears once again, but he forced himself to keep her gaze.

“Let me love you, Mercy?” He said softly, doing his best to ignore the heat around his earlobes.

[Mercedes Rowe]

To be continued..

HERE