Live or Die.. That is the Question {John, openish}

[Lt. Commander Katarina Foster]

And this is how it looks when I am standing on the edge
And this is how I break apart when I finally hit the ground
And this is how it hurts when I pretend I don't feel any pain
And this is how I disappear when I throw myself away
Breathe your life into me
I can feel you
I'm falling, falling faster
Breathe your life into me
I still need you
I'm falling, falling
Breathe into me


Hours later and outside a locked containment room, Lt. Commander Kat Foster stared through the unbreakable glass to the man still lying silently on the special table. At her side stood the only other person she trusted and his rigid stance called her decisions of the past 24 hours into question. Oh, it wasn't that he actually blamed her or thought she had made the wrong choice... It was just that neither one of them had any idea how this was going to pan out and it worried him.

Hell, it worried her too. It was a situation that could very well snowball in their face but Kat hadn't seen any other choice at the time. Would she have done it had it been any of her other team members besides John? Kat honestly didn't know but everything in her gut told her yes. It wasn't something that she'd ever actually put into thought but suddenly... suddenly it seemed like the normal next step when one of them fell.

After all, they were a unit and if the option was life or death... Shouldn't any measure be taken if it was available and the soldier wished to at least try it? Granted, there was no guarantee that circumstances would allow for the opportunity for the change but didn't they all deserve the chance if it was available?

So many questions... To few answers.

Turning her attention back to the containment room, Kat suddenly picked up on a small twitch of movement. Immediately her gaze snapped to Johns face but nothing else happened. Glancing sideways, the slender redhead met Hawks gaze and nodded.

"I'm going in there... He deserves to see a familiar face when he wakes up. Chances are he's going to go through a tangle of emotions so whatever happens... Don't interfere. Since I'm responsible for his new state.. I will deal with it.... If he decides he doesn't want this life... Then I will do what needs to be done."

Sighing, Hawk gazed at her a long moment before nodding.

"If your sure... I don't like it though, Kitten. Your human.. he's not anymore.... I don't want to lose both of you tonight."

Reaching up, Kat patted his shoulder on the way by.

"Come on General... You've know me better than that..Besides.. I'm half vampire.... Surely you don't think Sheppard could ever get the best of me. I'll be careful though.... Scouts honor."

Then, hitting the code to unlock the room, the young woman stepped inside and listened for the sound of her uncle sealing it back up. As she did so, she closed her eyes and prayed. She wasn't nearly so confident as she had wanted to appear for their commanding general. To much was at stake.

Finally, gathering herself, Kat moved towards the table and stood staring down at John's beloved face. Taking a deep breath, she leaned over his and whispered.

"Time to wake up, John boy...."

(Other team members and doctors are welcome outside the containment room if anyone wants to join. After John and Kat have a chance to "talk" then others will be needed.)

[John Sheppard]

Pain.

There was only pain.

And all the while he was incapable of moving as he was drowning and all that he could remember was that rich, sticky liquid going down his throat. Part of him was disgusted by it, the other part, an alien part that he had been completely unaware of, wanted more…and gallons of it.

His mind was filled with nightmares and confusion even as he slept. He was dead, should be at peace with Livie. Kat had a life ahead of her, a job, she would find someone that would be able to stand up to her and she wouldn’t fear growing attached, she would forget John and move on. Simple as that.

But life was never that simple.

The voice next to him registered in his mind even if his eyes were closed. Reacting out of instinct, he reached forward with newfound speed and took her throat in his grasp, his lips curling into a snarl while he forcefully brought her closer to him, and then…

And then his eyes opened and he saw Kat’s beautiful face.

His hand lost its grip of her throat and he pushed himself away from her in instinctive panic. Not fear of her, but of himself. He didn’t need to feel the point fangs to know what he was now, to feel that sickening feeling in his gut of all the blood he had consumed and that made him want to gag all the while he wanted more. Yeah, he was utterly messed up.

Curling into a ball, John was unable to keep his hands from shaking. He felt like a newborn baby, every sound was a thunderous storm, the lights made his eyes water in agony and what should be the pleasant cold from the air conditioning made him shiver. His every sense was enhanced and he had no idea how to cope with them.

Finally without uttering a word, he moved his head and looked at Kat. Damn, for a moment he had forgotten how painfully beautiful she was. How much he wanted her.

A low growl sounded in the back of his throat and with a snarl, he lunged forward and…past her, attacking with a fury the offending lights behind her until the room was in complete darkness.

Leaning down to the wall behind him, John let his body slide down into the floor and once again curled into a ball, wrapping his arms around his legs in silence.

[Lt. Commander Katarina Foster]

Lights, Camera, Action.

God, she felt like she was in a bad hollywood horror film as she hovered over the newly turned soldier and waited for the coming reel play. The last few hours had been so touch and go that her emotions hadn't fully lined themselves out. Once they had reached base, a supply of vampire blood had been transfused straight into John's system and the full change had taken place.

This was the moment of truth. Would John want to be saved or would he choose to die a second time? That remained to be seen. Kat didn't believe that vampires were damned so if the dark haired warrior chose to go back to be with his dead wife instead of here.. with them... with her... Then she would grant him that release.

As soon as those thoughts flashed through her mind, her words seemed to to wake him from the sleep of the dead. Tensing, she waited to see what would happen next.

Andddddddddddddddddd..... There was exactly the reaction she'd been waiting for. A whole lot of "FUCK ME" and "KATIE BAR THE DOOR!".

One moment Johns eyes were closed.. the next his fingers were wrapped around her throat. Instinct demanded she kick him back but she held still until recognition dawned in those dark eyes. Immediately, she saw understanding, grief and confusion swirl there.

Before she could speak, he threw himself backwards into the wall and slide down the side. Afraid to approach him and send him on another rampage, Kat waited to see what he would do next. In her mind, this wasn't something she could help him with.. Not these first few moments when the world was new and strange.

Suddenly, John was moving again and, instead of attacking her, he attacked the lights above them. Frozen in place, Kat watched as he destroyed them and then utter darkness fell on the room. She had no doubt that Hawk was going ape shit outside the door but he would respect her wishes until she called for him or knocked on the door.

Hopefully, he wouldn't just assume that John had killed her.

That in mind, Kat raised her voice and looked towards the window.

"Shut it down, General..... Shut everything down... Sound and all... "

For a moment, there was silence and then she heard the click of the monitors being turned off. She was completely, truly alone with Sheppard now and it was enough to make even her a bit nervous.

Thank God for her vampire sight.

"Lt. Sheppard...... John........" she said in a low, easy tone. "I know this isn't easy for you but I need you to listen to me. Not as Kat the commander or some asshole trying to shove things down your throat but as your friend....."

Moving forward, the redhead crouched in front of him but didn't touch him in any way.

"John... you know what you are now.... You've been around the block and you know what the drill is.... You died like the soldier you were and are but I made a split decision call to give you back a future and a life.... However... If you so choose.... I can set you free of this existence. If you don't want to live in this state then that is your choice... but it will be YOUR choice... not some asshole witch or wrath...."

Giving him a few moments to digest that, Kat eased back on her haunches and watched him carefully. She wanted to reach out to him so badly but she knew that it might set off a violent reaction.

"I can help you through this or I can end your suffering... The call is yours, John.... Only you can make it."

[John Sheppard]

There he stood for a long moment, curled in silence and slowly his eyes started burning, the maddening noise on his ears vanished and the cold that made him shiver dissipated. Even then no words departed his lips for what seemed like an hour. Kat’s words had registered in his mind, but he gave her no reply. He was afraid that even his own voice would make his eardrums hurt like they were before and he knew not what to say.

He didn’t even know what to think.

He was dead, Livie was there…hell, how he missed her. Didn’t mind if he was only dreaming before he truly died, heck if this was the last thing he would dream of, Sheppard didn’t want to wake…especially not to this.

He hated Kat.

No, he didn’t. His feelings for her were quite the opposite and he wouldn’t be fooling himself if he thought any different.

Since that first time he saw her when they had drafted him into the squad, he had felt a stirring deep within his gut when he had seen the fiery redhead and he knew he had to make her his. No matter how many times she had kicked his ass in the training room or how many times she had turned him down, he had wanted her.

But never like this.

This time he didn’t wanted only her kiss, her touch and her body or even her heart. He wanted her blood as well.

And that sickened him.

How could he live this way? Feeling this hunger, this maddening lust to kill her and consume all there was of her? Was that way she had never given into his advances in the past?

He suddenly jumped to his feet and rushed towards her, pinning her against the wall and keeping her in place as he pushed his forearm against her neck to keep her in place. With a snarl, he brought his face close to hers and eyed her with anger and confusion.

“My choice? To live like one of the monsters we hunt? Are you freaking kidding me? YOU HAD NO DAMNED RIGHT TO DO THIS!”

Fighting to tamper down his anger and not do what his newborn vampire instincts begged him to, he stepped back.

“Do it, end me now.”

He stood there, looking at her eyes for a bit before she raised her hand ready to strike him down. But this was when instinct kicked in and he grabbed her wrist and held it away from him and pushing forward he felt a new unbound hunger that was only sated when he crashed his lips savagely against hers.

Screw the hunger, this need for her was ten times stronger.

[Lt. Commander Katarina Foster]

Let me make one last appeal
to show you how I feel about you
'Cause there's no one else I swear
that holds a candle anywhere next to you
My heart can't take the beating
not having you to hold
A small voice keeps repeating deep inside my soul
It says I can't keep pretending I don't love you anymore

Anger, Hate, Disillusionment.

All of those emotions Kat saw in John's eyes and it took all she had not to flinch underneath those vamped out eyes. After all, what right did she have to play god? What right did she have to turn him without prior consent? Who'd died and made her king?

Simply put.. No one.

She'd chosen to make the call herself and now she would take the consequences. She'd known that this might be the outcome but chosen to go ahead with her actions anyways. If John was going to hate anyone, it should be her and not the other members of the team.

Then, with more speed than he'd ever had as a human, he was launching himself at her. Her back slammed up hard against the opposite wall and there was an audible thumb as her head connected.

Damn, there was that super strength too.

For a moment, all she could see was stars and then she realized John had his forearm pressed against her throat and she was having trouble breathing. His growling words rang in her ears even as she fought the impulse to strike back and knock him in down a peg or two. New vampire or not, Kat wasnt' going to take any more his crap and he might as well realize that now.

Then, as if sensing her thoughts, the soldier stepped backwards and away from her. His next words left her cold but resigned. If he wanted death then that was his right. It wasn't a choice she could or should have made for him.

Palming her blade, Kat prepared herself to do what was asked even though it tore her very soul apart. She knew that his vampire instincts would make it a fight even if John himself wanted to end it. It was just the nature of the beast. Any creature would fight to survive when the end was near.

Preparing herself for battle, the slender redhead brought the silver blade up and in position for a strike. Then, for the first time ever, hesitation made her waver and in that moment, John sprang.

Locking his fingers around her wrist, he barreled into her and Kat let out a gasp of surprise as his lips came down hard and punishing on hers. She could feel all the pent up aggression in that kiss but there was something more... Something entirely different that stoke the fires of her own pent up desires until she felt herself losing control of her own nature.

OH GOD YEAH!! THATS IT, BABY! GIVE ME ALL YOU GOT!! the vampire inside seemed to roar as it tore lose of the chains kept it locked away with.

With a sense of detachment, Kat felt the slide of her own fangs and the moment when she let go of all control. The buried half of herself merged with her human self and then took over as hunger, passion and the need for something more took possession. Where before she'd simply been passive underneath his kiss, the vampire within began to return the embrace full force. Snarls and growls crawled out of her throat as her body used his as a climbing post and wrapped its legs around his waist.

YES. THIS WAS WHAT SHE WANTED. Had wanted for a very long time. Screw the mortals outside the door and may or may not be right. This time... This time she was going to take what she wanted and give back everything he wanted in return.

Pulling back from the kiss so that she could grab a breath, Kat knew her own eyes were glowing as fiercely as his were. The hunger and desire was so thick in the room that you could have cut it with a knife but she simply didn't care. Instead, she glinted at him and let her other half take the wheel.

"Whats a matter, Johnnie Boy? Afraid I'm gonna be to much for you even now? Don't wanna take the chance that I can still kick your ass all over the place? All that courage from before.. Seems to me that you were just fronting me. Are you all talk and no substance? Come on, Johnnie boy...Show me whatcha got!" she taunted, snapping her fangs at him. "Here I thought that you might want the chance to really pull some kick ass shit in your new form... Be the bad ass mother fucker you only pretended to be before.... But nah... Now you just wanna take the easy way out cause your scared you might not live up to all your talk. Not live up to all the hype you spun about whatcha wanted to do to me if we were on even footing...."

Ok, so yeah... Kat KNEW she was playing with fire. She wasn't an idiot after all. Her cautious self was sending off warning flares left and right but the vampire inside was determined to push John past his initial confusion. It taunted and teased as if knowing all the buttons to push to get him to fight back and LIVE, damn it!

Not to mention, it was on fire with pent up passion of its own and it wasn't happy with all that wine and flowers bullshit. Oh no, it wanted a fight to light its torch's before they ended up breaking every piece of furniture in the room in an attempt to put out those said torches.

DAMN... HER VAMPIRE SIDE WAS A FREAK! LANI WOULD BE SO PROUD!

Moving with lightening speed, Kat disengaged herself from around Johns body and kicked him back. As he took the impact of the blow, Kat arched a brow and paced around him with a predators stance. She knew he could see her with his new perceptions but that only made the game even more fun. She had far more familiarity with them so that was to her advantage.

"FINALLY", her beast screamed. "JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED."

Tossing her long red hair that had come undone from its crisp bun, the commander was glad she'd only brought one weapon into the cell. Since it was on the floor by the wall, they were both left to their natural devises and on even footing.

No matter what John thought about himself, she knew he would never ever truly harm her. He'd just proven that not minutes before. Sure, he may thirst and hunger but he had the sort of strong, self controlled personality that wouldn't allow itself to be controlled by anything or anyone. Hadn't he proved THAT one time and time again as a human?

He just had to learn it in his new form. That she could help him with and have fun doing it. After all, wasn't that what she was good at? Training men?

"Whats a matter, Casanova? Still aren't man enough to handle one little female?"

[John Sheppard]

It was different than the time he had kissed her in the training room.

No, this time he kissed her with a vengeance. And when she returned him – HELL YEAH! – his grip left her wrist and his hands moved hungrily to her body, letting growls of his own as she cling herself to him and he reacted with such a fury that felt unnatural to him as he deepened the kiss and let his hands wander. He wanted all of her and more, screw the general outside the room or whoever else might be listening, if anyone entered that room right then, they would die.

John had never felt such a savage need for anyone in his life.

It might be his enhanced newborn senses, but the fact was that Kat had always had the uncanny ability to drive him over the edge and he would cross that edge with a maddened grin on his lips.

FUCK YEAH! MORE! MORE!
The little voice in his mind screamed as her deepened the kiss and pressed her body tight against his.

And then there were those words that made him frown in anger and snarl. Afraid? FREACKING AFRAID?

Her taunting caught him with its full force, but even if she believed that she knew with whom she was messing with, she had no freaking idea. The fires that burned inside him for her had little to do with his new vampiric nature, it had been already there for long, the transformation had only added gasoline to those flames and turned them into a damned furnace that was hotter than the sun.

And yeah, she had him just pushed him over the edge and into those fires.

And she kicked him back.

She was asking for it.

Jumping back to his feet, John curled his lips and snarled at her ferociously. There was aggression on his stance, but it wasn’t by far the dominant sensation, it was desire.

With that intense look in his eyes that told her that he wanted to rip that whole cell apart until all that was standing was their naked bodies, he charged forward with a speed and strength that hours ago he didn’t possess.

He tackled her, pushing Kat to the wall behind them and crushing everything on their way. Bringing his face towards her neck, sniffed and basked in her scent as a savage predator would, but when he closed the distance from his lips to her skin, it wasn’t a bite he placed, but a lick to her neck.

“You shouldn’t be playing with fire kitten, you will get burned!”

And that was the part he decided she was wearing too many clothes. His hand grabbed the edge of her shirt collar and unceremoniously and far from delicately, ripped it apart.

“I want all of you, no holding back, you hear me? And if you give me that old crap about being against the rules, I’m going to torn this freaking base apart with my bare hands!”

His lips went for the exposed skin he had just revealed.

“MORE! I WANT MORE!”

He would show her just how he could handle a female.

[Lt. Commander Katarina Foster]

Is there a reason why i'm still here
Nobody ever seemed to make it clear
I've been waiting here for so damn long
I just need you to show me now
If there was ever really any way out
Ive been ticking like a time bomb,
every move I made was wrong
I hope its not too late

OOOOMPHH!

That was the only thing Kat got out before she was tackled and pinned against the cool steel enforced wall. Blinking rapidly, the commander stared up at him in disbelief as she registered the fact that John had moved so fast that she hadn't even had time to prepare for impact. For the first time in history, he'd gotten the upper hand and she was helpless to do anything but blink up at him.

Holy Crap.

If this was any indication of Johns new born abilities then they were far more than she'd ever dreamed. She'd never had a vampire take her down so hard or so quick before. But then... What had she truly expected? John was a trained warrior with years of battle maneuvers and combat skills. It was only common sense that he'd take that training and combine it with his new abilities and virtually become a force of nature.

A force of nature that her own vampire was suddenly craving more than the air she breathed into her lungs.

OH GOD YES! it purred.

From somewhere nearby, Kat heard the sound and it took her a moment to realize it was coming from her own throat. Her inner self was enjoying every moment of this rough and tumble encounter and it was PURRING instead of roaring.

Well, if that didn't beat the band!

"Oh baby.. Don't threaten me with a good time!" she managed to get out before Johns hands went wild and pieces of cloth flew everywhere. "HEY!! YOU OWE ME NOW, BUDDY! HOW THE HELL DO YOU THINK I'm GOING TO WALK OUT OF HERE?"

Ok, so maybe it wasn't quiet the objection she SHOULD have been giving but at least it was a thought, right? RIGHTTTTTTTTT. Never mind that her own hands were pulling at the buttons on his pants and craving the feel of bare skin against hers. Never mind that her nails were definitely leaving bright red scratches down his back or that her fangs had nipped at his lip and drawn blood that only sparked her own desire.

OH HELL. What was the use in denying the truth?

She didn't give a flip for what the others might think and she was beyond giving him any more of the patent answers she had in the past. Besides that, his words told her that he wasn't going to listen to any false resistance so why even try? It wasn't as if she hadn't hoped that they would end up just like this. She might have avoided the knowledge before but circumstances had changed.

Everything had changed.

"You want more?? Then show me watcha got, soldier!" she hissed back, wrapping her legs around his waist and tugging at his dark hair. "A little less talk and a bit more action, please..."

[John Sheppard]

That low sound he heard reverberating deep within her throat…was she purring? Hell if that didn’t make him want her more. Kitten huh? Well, he purr was driving him insane.

When the last shred of clothing left her now bare chest, John let his hands and then his lips do the talking when words at that point seemed meaningless. He always had been a man of action more than a man of words when he was alive, so why should he change that just because he was now dead?

Like he cared if she had to walk out of there on her birthday suit. Sure he would rip Curse’s eyes out if he was to ooggle Kat, regardless if the man was his best friend or not. So many times had he fantasized having her like this, her skin under the tips of his fingertips, and she was not screaming at him saying it was against the rules, but provoking him into going forward.

The little taste of blood she got from his lips let the lingering taste of her mouth mixed with blood, and that was sweet as hell. Better than any booze, it lured his lips back to hers and they begged for more just as he reattributed and took a little bite on her lower lip just for a taste.

No matter that the idea of drinking blood still made him uneasy, it was Kat and it was freaking hot.

But he wasn’t hungry for blood.

Kicking off his boots and pants when she unbuttoned them, his tongue followed down a straight line down her stomach and his newly discovered fangs and earning hands turned her pants and underwear into an unrecognizable tangle of cloth.

And she was more devastatingly desirable than he had ever pictured. He had seen her in skimpy clothes when she’d been playing the bait and even wearing only a towel in that night their lips first met, but it was the first time he was seen her completely undressed in all of her glory.

And…DAMN!

And at that moment she was his and his alone.

But hey, she was the one that had asked for more action and less talk right? So John thrown himself to the task of showing just how much bottled up desire he had for her and he wouldn’t be satisfied until he made the very ground beneath them rock…or hear her beg for no more.

Whatever happened first.

[Lt. Commander Katarina Foster]

Without you next to me, I toss and turn like the sea
If I drown tonight, bring me back to life
Breathe your breath in me
The only thing that I still believe in is you
Believe in is you, I still believe in you, oh
If you only knew

OH FREAKING A ... YES!!!

NOW THIS WAS WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT!

Forget all the games.. Forget all the talk. Just give her some real action and she was a happy camper. To hell with the world and all its expectations. Kat was tired of pleasing everyone and walking a line that got hazier every day. For once... She just wanted to live a moment for her.

And what a moment it was.

Damn, he even smelled better than before, Kat thought to herself even as she gasped at the feel of his fangs. The nip of blood it drew made her body tremble in need and then he was kicking off his boots and her own undergarments met the same fate as many a soldier on the field of battle.

And battle this was.

Growling low in her throat, Kat lept at him and they both spun backwards towards the table in the middle of the room. Thank god the thing was cemented into the ground and didn't demolish as they made contact. She had a feeling neither one of them would have noticed though so intent on each other and the passion that was exploding.

Hell, they were all probably lucky the COMPOUND still stood by the time they finished getting their groove on.

Kat couldn't have testified on anything except the fact that she'd lost complete control of herself and John HADN"T been fronting when he'd sworn he'd make her scream his name. Since Vampire senses were a hundred times more acute that anything a mortal could feel, the redhead was sure she probably would have deefened everyone if they hadn't been locked in a sound proof cell. Vaguely, she was aware of her fangs piercing his skin at some point and his piercing hers but it only seemed to drive the pleasure higher until they both exploded.

Finally, when they came back to earth, Kat realized they were sprawled on the hard floor and couldn't help the giggle that escaped her throat. Unable to help herself but trying desperately not to offend John, she buried her head in his chest. Mortification soon followed and she glanced towards the one way mirror hoping to GOD there was no one on the other side and they hadn't just had a free peep show.

"OH LORDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD" she groaned. "Well, I guess there goes THAT rule out the freaking window..... I guess you got your wish, Sheppard. ..... If this goes on my permanent record... I"M SO GOING TO HAVE YOUR ASS, SOLDIER!"

[John Sheppard]

John had been briefed about vampires and had fought the bloodsuckers more than once, so he’d be able to tell what was fact and what was myth about them. He’d had thought that the talk about sex being a hundred times more pleasurable for them was a myth…right now however, he’d call it a fact.

It was strange to think of himself as a vampire and his mind was still spinning with sensorial overload, but he had a vague recollection of biting Kat at some point.

And talk about rocking the ground and screaming.

There they laid, sprawled on the floor after the wild crazy monkey sex of the century, the kind of stuff that became legendary, and she was…giggling? Off course he shot her a ‘what the hell?’ glare and saw her bury her head in his chest.

They rock the freaking cell, trashed the whole place like there was no tomorrow, the reinforced steel table on the corner would never be the same…wait, was that Kat’s ass forever imprinted in the table?

And the woman was giggling…go figure.

But yeah, a laugh escaped his lips at her words.

“You’re such a schoolgirl Kat! Permanent record! HA! I hope this goes on my record: ‘made the hot commander scream his name like a banshee!’ Hell, I will make Hawk right it down!”

What did he care for what the others thought? He never had when alive, so why should he start now? All that he cared about right now was that Kat was in his arms and that he was keeping her close, to hell with everything else. What he would care if they’d had videotaped the whole thing? He’d gave the performance of a lifetime…uh, had he destroyed the security camera? Ah hell, if he didn’t he was going to ask for a copy of the tape later.

All those things he’d said he would do to her when he was still human…if she only let him…

Mission accomplished.

If he was still only human he would be all broken and dead. But he would have died with a grin on his lips and that would be worth in his book.

“Okay, if that means we can do that again I think I can give the whole Dracula thing a try. But I’m not wearing a cape or speaking with a fruity accent!...I will still be able to drink booze right?”

[Lt. Commander Katarina Foster]

It was all going to be ok.

With those last words John spoke, Kat felt all the remaining stiffness leave her body and she rolled over to sprawl bonelessly on her back and stare up at the ceiling. A laugh escaped her as she pictured that mental image and she shot him a grin.

"Oh.. I don't know.. I'm thinking for Halloween you'd do a pretty good impersonation."

Unfortunately, that comment just brought the real world back. Now that the exillerating adrenaline was gone, reality was starting to intrude.

Shit. She owed John an apology for all this. Didn't she?

"John..... I owe you an apology for this but ....I'd be fucking lieing if I told you I regretted the choice I made. I had a splits second to decide and anything seemed better than final death. Call it selfish.. Call it stupid... Whatever... I just couldn't bring myself to let you go if it was in my power to stop it."

Falling silent for a moment, the red head sighed.

"The others agreed with me but it was my choice.... Like I told you before.... If you decide you can't live this existance.... That is your choice... But I want it to be yours .. not some fucking witch or wrath who makes the choice for you."

Pushing herself upright, Kat ran a hand through her now tangled hair and rubbed her face.

"I plan on giving the others the same option, John.... This was something we never thought of but there isn't a one person on the team that I don't think could control themselves if they chose to be changed instead of die of natural causes... or unnatural... whatever the case may be. Hawk agrees that if this is a viable option.. then the others should be allowed the chance at it too if circumstances allow."

[John Sheppard]

He was staring at the ceiling, during all the time she spoke, he stared silently at the ceiling. Yeah she was hot, yeah he was crazy about her, and yeah, that had been the fuck of the century. – Take that Curse who said he would only get his ass kicked and would never get her!

But for all his cocky words, John was shaken to his core. He hadn’t forgotten how he had reacted back at the hospital when he wanted to rip off her throat and that scared the hell out of him. Was he that now? That thing that wanted blood and didn’t care who died for it? Was he one of those psychotic monsters that deserved to be put down?

She hadn’t really offered him an apology, and he didn’t know if he could accept one.

The fact was no one had ever consulted him to know if that was what he wanted. Since Livie had died and something snapped inside his brain, John knew he would die sooner or later and he would once again be with her. He wasn’t really the religious sort, but that was what he hoped for.

And then along came Kat, with that red hair, fairy attitude and body made for sin that made him believe maybe…just maybe being alive wasn’t such a bad deal after all. It wasn’t just that he wanted to get in her pants, well at first it was, but then he’d wasn’t only dreaming of sleeping in her bed, but waking up next to her as well. Giving her a kiss before grabbing a cup of coffee. Riding his bike while she held tight to him from the back seat.

He didn’t want just one night, he wanted her, all of her…only back then it didn’t meant her blood.

Blood.

The idea of having to drink blood to survive still didn’t settle well with him. Somehow the idea of being a blood sucker monster didn’t appeal much to him, but if he was getting Kat…he would be willing to give this a chance.

“As long it is their choices Kat…should be a good idea to ask before the fall dead.”

Pushing his upper body up, he pressed a kiss on her forehead and then jumped on his feet as he walked towards the two way mirror, frowning since it was the first time he remembered the darn thing even existed. Giving the air around him a little sniff, he them proceeded to knock on the glass.

“I know you’re there general…you dirt old man!”

Shaking his head, he couldn’t resist to smirk.

[Lt. Commander Katarina Foster]

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?

Seated on the floor covered by nothing except for her boots that somehow had gotten over looked in their mad dance, Kat closed her eyes in relief as she heard Johns words. They weren't out of the woods yet by far but at least it was a start. John was still going to have to learn to resist the call of a beating heart and the blood thirst that would hit him when he smelled fresh spilled life blood.

All that aside though.. He was still John and if anyone could over come the challenges his new life would give... He could.

From her side, she felt him shift and then place a kiss on her forehead before leaping to his feet. Damn.... He still had his pants on. That was so unfair! Her clothing was no doubt shredded beyond repair and she was going to have to figure out how to walk out of here without giving the others to much to talk about.

Oh Yeah.. like THAT was really a consideration NOW! No doubt Jordan had been taking bets outside on how long and how much of the compound would still be standing when they got done with their "talk".

Damn... She was never going to hear the end of this one. Talk about breaking all the rules.

Pushing herself to her feet, the red head felt herself go crimson at Johns shout to Hawk and she was glad that they couldn't see into the room any longer. No doubt her uncle had been monitoring the whole situation but she REALLY hoped he'd opted to turn off the secondary surveillance when things got a bit more.... heated.

Oh yeah, she had a feeling she'd be getting more than ONE sort of dressing down when she left this room.

"John, for the next few days, we're going to have to keep you under close watch. Your senses are going to need adjusting and your going to have moments when the hunger strikes out of the blue. Hawk has called in someone to help you with that and teach you how to work with your new abilities since I'm only half vampire." she said, crossing her arms over her chest and feeling suddenly self conscious. "We think that someone who's been through what your going through would be more useful and able to teach you tricks on how to deal with things..... That being said..... I'd had some of your things moved to my bunker till other accommodations can be made. That is.. If you'd rather stay there than ... one of these penthouse suites."

Just as she finished that, the bunker door popped and opened to reveal an arm with a mans button up shirt. The article of clothing was tossed inside and then the door shut again.

Kat groaned.

"Well.. Hell...."

Moving quickly to it, she picked it up and pulled it on over her naked limbs. It was large enough that it hung to her knees and covered everything important but she knew she'd still feel conspicuous. It was a far cry from the fatigues she had on when she'd walked INTO the room.

Freaking A. Jordan was going to have a hay day with this!

"With all the blood in your system, you should be fine for a few hours. Hawk and the others want to speak with you and then we can go back to my rooms. We'll stay there and work on your new life until the new guy gets here."

Then, moving to the door, she banged hard three times and heard someone on the other side. The vaccum lock popped and then it swung open. Turning to John, she gave him a falsely bright smile and beckoned to him.

"I'll be right behind you so it will all be ok."

[Nathaniel Logan]

Long ago and far away I heard your voice
Once I heard you sing your song I had no choice
Terror took control and told me what to say
And let me loose, I fear I've finally found a way

With a grim expression on his face, Nathaniel strode down the hall, his fists clenching and unclenching themselves stressfully. It wasn't supposed to be this way, his coming to see her. Their meeting, or even his introduction to the rest of the team, should have been more formal.

But hell if God ever did things the proper way.

From what Hawk had told him, Nate knew the situation was delicate. Bullseye had been wounded on the last mission, leading Kat to try to turn him. Which of course meant everything went to hell.

Newborn vampires were a complete menace, as he knew all too well. His own memory of that time was extraordinary painful, and honestly he didn't know how he'd even willed himself through it all to survive. And given Bullseye's own volative personality, this rough ride was going to be even rougher.

Outside the room the rest of the squad seemed to be gathered, perching around in all sorts of emotional states. Some seemed nervous, others impatient, and one near the door actually stared him down intently. The doc would probably try to stop him from going in, but John wasn't in the mood to deal with any shit like that. He was above them all when it came to the chain of command, and his expression was more than enough to get him through without a word.

Nate found Hawk standing outside a dark observation room, most likely where Kat and Sheppard were "working things out". Hawk was quick to head him off before he got to close to the room, and gave him a stern glare.

"I'm guessing my blood did the trick?" Nate asked in a subdued tone. When Sheppard had been airlifted back to the base, he was half-way through the change, stuck. Kat's blood, as she was only half-vampire, apparently hadn't been able to turn him completely. They had needed blood from a pure vampire, in this case him, to help Sheppard complete the change.

Hawk nodded. "He just regained consciousness. Kitten's been dealing with him, and it appears as though the situation's been contained."

A sigh of relief passed through his lips, and Nate couldn't help but relax his tense stance. Soldier or not, if Sheppard laid one hand on his daughter, he'd tear that man limb from limb.

Suddenly a bout of movement caught Nate's eye from over Hawk's shoulder, and he glaced over into the dark room curiously. As his vampiric sight kicked in, and pierced through the darkness, a snarl tore itself from his throat.

"I think you're description of "contained" might be a little off, Hawk," Nate managed between several deep breaths, each deeper than the first. Concentrating on each breath was the only thing keeping him from throwing Hawk aside and tearing into the room. "Maybe I'm a little old-fashioned and behind on the procedures and such, but I don't see how containing a situation ends in both parties particularly absent of all clothing."

Though Hawk maintained his silence for a moment, his eyes widened. He looked up at Nate, his expression stern. "Nate, no." His tone was firm, and he laid a hand on Nate's chest, presumably to stop him from doing anything rash. Oh how Hawk knew him.

But tearing that Sheppard to pieces wouldn't help anybody in this situation, so Nate forced his temper down, albeit grudgingly. And then without a word he slid his jacket off, and unbottoned his plaid shirt, shrugging it off and tossing it to Hawk. As Hawk walked away to toss the shirt into the room, Nate slid his jacket back on over the plain white t-shirt he'd been wearing underneath everything.

"I know this isn't the best situation, but you need to stay calm and handle it, you got me?" Hawk's expression was a frozen mask of superiority; he wasn't asking Nate to behave, he was ordering him.

Knowing that speaking would probably break the mental mantra he was repeating just to keep himself calm, Nate merely nodded. No matter how much he didn't want to behave, he'd bite down on his tongue and simply hold himself together.

Three loud knocks came from the door to the room, and Hawk headed over to open it, but not before giving Nate another stern glare. Nate took another deep breath, calming his ever fraying nerves.

Well, it was now or never.

[John Sheppard]

Greeeeeeeeeat! Freaking Great! They would be keeping him under the microscope now? As if the psych bitch wasn’t going to have a ball with annoying him about sharing his feelings about dying and returning as a bloodsucker. Ya-freaking-hoo!

And they were bringing another asshole to talk to him? GAH! They were trying to get his head straight or making him kill them anyways? Just because he was already somewhat of crazy assed and packing the explosives – and that was when he was still alive – because he was now a vampire it meant he wasn’t supposed to be trusted no more?

“All I need is a full tequila bottle, a place without lights and noise and I will be alright Kat. Trust me on that, I don’t need a support group or some Bozo telling me how I’m supposed to deal with feelings and such. And I…wait…did you say your bunk?” a smirk crept on his lips, “we’re going to be bunk mates now? Because what we just did here…it’s all the group therapy I need.”

John couldn’t help but chuckle when a shirt was tossed inside the cell for Kat and he knocked on the glass once more.

“You dirt bastards, I knew you were peeking!”

At least that way he wouldn’t to rip anyone’s eyes for ogling at Kat. Talk about feeling possessive, they just got together for the first time and he was about to kick some ass if anyone tried to sneak a peek at her body. Yeah, if John didn’t know himself he wasn’t just trying to get into her pants already, he’d know it now.

Like he hadn’t been mooning over here for some time now.

Frowning a bit as Kat waited him by the door, John peeked out and covered his eyes when the bright light hurt him. Wasn’t that a pain? But with any luck his eyes would adapt soon enough.

His eyes caught sight of the others waiting outside and their scents assaulted him. He could hear their hearts beating and if he wasn’t imagining the blood pumping in their veins and that freaked him out.

Not enough for him to stop for a second in front of Curse.
“Buddy, you need a shower…seriously.”

And just as he took another step, he was faced with some older man with dark hair. His face was unfamiliar to him, should be the idiot that they sent to give him some kind of pep talk, what caused John to growl in annoyance.

“Hey old man, don’t even bother alright? I didn’t hear the psych bitch when I was alive, so I won’t be hearing you know. Juts hop back to whatever retirement home you crawled out of it alright? Shoo!”